So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
