There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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