He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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