I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
