Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
