Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
