the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
