But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize