Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
