Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
