I hate your face
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
