i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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