Please don't use social media to get back at me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
