Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
