Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
