I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
