People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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