Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
