Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
