You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
