there was a trapeze. enough said
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
