You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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