he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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