this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
