Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
