We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize