A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
