I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
