i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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