PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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