David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
