I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
