so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
