she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
