You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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