Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize