I'm sorry my penis didn't work
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
