I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's official drugs can't kill me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
