I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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