I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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