It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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