Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You ate ashes out of my bong
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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