Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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