He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
