took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
