your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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