Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
