Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
