Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
