as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i need some magic done to my vagina
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
