I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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