Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
