He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize