so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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