Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
