You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
