i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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