I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
