i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
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