This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
