So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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