ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
